These are samples from a book of poetry that's in the works. These little Rollins-inspired ditties were written strictly as amusement, so if you see someone you know in these, have a good laugh on me, and if you see yourself in them, stop flattering yourself! :) -- CJ
Message To A Showoff
Hey you
Yeah you
The fat arrogant fuck with the bass
I was watching you for the entire set
From the comfort of the DJ booth
What's your fucking problem?
Every four measures
You try to cram in some lame 32nd-note fill
That wasn't there in the first place
Explain to me
Why you think that's so goddamn necessary
Don't you realize that every time you try to cram in
One of your Billy Sheehan wannabe bass licks where they don't belong
People that are trying to dance to the music
Look at you like the braindead alien that you are
Are you even aware
That you're supposed to pay attention
To what the drummer is doing
And not to your ego?
You're supposed to be in a cover band, not goddamned Weather Report
Pop quiz, schmuck!
Jaco Pastorius is dead
If you're so fucking desperate to be like him
I'll be very happy to kill your ass
Otherwise
Shut the fuck up
And play the goddamn song like you're supposed to©1995 CJ Marsicano
DJ Booth Crasher
He
Crashed the DJ booth
Demanded
That I turn off the dance music
And play some classic rock
I
Ignored him
Kept on playing the dance music
Reason:
The dance floor was packed
Majority rules
Clarification:
Being a fat ignorant fuck
Does not make you a majority
I win
You lose
So there
Now
Get the fuck out of my goddamn face
I have a job to do
Bitch!©2000 CJ Marsicano
Iggy Pop Is Right As Always
Sometimes when I read some of the responses to my columns
I feel like Iggy Pop on the Metallic K.O. album
Where he says
"You're paying $5 and I'm making $10,000, so screw you."
They write their little hate mails
And try to make themselves feel big
Knowing that two seconds after they hit SEND
They end up feeling smaller than they were
When they spent two hours of their lives
Writing a two sentence
Badly misspelled
Hate mail
With
Two
Fingers
They throw their eggs and rotten tomatoes
But I ignore them
And continue to lead the band through "Search And Destroy"
"You're paying $5 and I'm making $10,000, so screw ya."
Iggy, truer words were never ever spoken!©2000 CJ Marsicano
No For An Answer
No for an answer
Does not compute
It's too obscene
Such a hateful little word
It should never be heard by anyone
Such a destructive, negative text for only two letters
Always defy the word no
Like spitting in an enemy's face
Like flipping off a cop
Like standing up and believing in yourself
Never say yes to the answer no
Else it'll get you every time©1995 CJ Marsicano
Distance
Distance
I hate you
You're always in my way
I'm gonna run over you
You'll still be there
But that's okay two
'Cause I'll just run over you again
That's all you're good for©1995 CJ Marsicano
Slow Night At The Club
Slow night at the club
Handful of people
Good band being ignored by the rest of the city
Pathetic and typical
One guy tries to hit on many girls at once
They all diss him
The handful here would rather drink than rock
I demand interaction
Audience participation is a must
Absolutely crucial to mental well-being
A couple of new people file in
Or should I say trickle in
Sometimes I wonder what these people expect
Band still playing hard
I enjoy yet I am bored
Another night, another thirty bucks
Fine with me
I'd rather earn it sometimes, I think
Nothing stops the lead guitarist of this band from rocking on
Hell, he broke two strings and kept going
Now that's hard
The lead singer helped move them off the fret board while the guitarist continued to solo
Nothing stops him
Song ends and he exits to change strings
The rest of the band continues to rock
Professional
Righteous
Unstoppable
Lead singer's red T-shirt
Boast of having had laser belly button surgery
Lead guitarist returns
Les Paul black beauty back at 100% capacity
Unfazed
Ready to pick up where he left off
Soldier of rock
Slay the institution until the day you die
And don't forget to live a long life while you're at it
125 would be nice
Couples trickle in one at a time
The more the merrier I say
Tonight there's not enough
I have yet to be one half of a couple again
Yet I need to be
I will not die alone
My genes must live on
Boy, talk about a tangent©1995 CJ Marsicano
Ignoring A Temper Tantrum
Go ahead
Petulant child
Acting one fifth, maybe one sixth your age
Scream at a high pitch
Yell like you've got brain damage
Do what you feel
Throw a shitfit
When you're all done
I'll hand you a list
Of all the people you impressed
With your playacting
Here's what it'll read:
N
O
N
E©2001 CJ Marsicano
this page first published 30 Sept 01