The True Standard Bearer In Wrestling Columns Since 1997 -- Accept No Imitations!
Bytes From The Webmaster Of Extreme
Written and Published May 25, 2001
For
rent: One deposed Queen Of Extreme. Rate: $11,500 for three hours. (CJ
Marsicano)
I should have had my VCR running for last night's Smackdown. The four-way TLC match was a keeper. Note to WWF Video: I think it's time to update and expand the TLC: Tables Ladders And Chairs compilation video for DVD release!
Speaking of TLC videos, when I am I gonna see the "original" TLC (T-Boz, Left Eye and Chilli) on a DVD other than House Party 3?
Isn't it great to finally see Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit headlining?
$11,500.00. That's how much someone screen-named "staindny" paid to hang out with the deposed Queen Of Extreme, Francine Fournier, for three hours. Let's hope that a) the winning bidder has a clean bill of mental health and b) the "someone" the aforementioned ex-Queen goes by the initials T.D.
There were two retractions from the bidding in the Francine auction. One lamented that he had to because he was underage and "wanted more than a date". Another reluctantly admitted that his girlfriend "threatened me with physical violence if I won the auction." (Remind me not to bid on a Chyna or Lita auction!)
Since someone asked, here's what I could have done with $11,500.00:
Paid my bills (many times over...)
Eloped with Blossom (xoxo, baybee...)
Bought a sealed copy of the Beatles' Yesterday And Today album with the original "butcher cover".
Bought some recording equipment and installed it in the basement of my house so I could to the Paul McCartney/Todd Rundgren/Prince one-man-band thing. (Yes, I can and do indeed play several different instruments...)
Started my own independent promotion (ok, maybe...)
Does The C.F.K.A.Sable wish she could command $11,500 in such an auction? And would such an amount have even covered her plastic surgery and liposuction bills?
Note to WWF bookers: No Chyna since the PPV? Do I have to keep watching the Chyna Fitness VHS and WWF Divas In Hedonism DVD for my 9th Wonder
fix?
Note to Blossom: Stay out of my videos! :)
Two words for Senator Jeffries of Vermont and all other "moderate" congressmen: GREEN PARTY!
Why have Raven and Rhyno been doing jobs this past
week?
Will Triple H come back as a face in six months?
EXCUSE THE SLIGHT MARKISHNESS OF THIS, BUT I COULDN'T RESIST: Are the Holly cousins aware that Molly's new "beau" Spike Dudley can quote Shakespeare from memory? Do they have a problem with their cousin dating someone smarter than themselves?
CJMarsicano.com's resident diva, Bianca Mountford, is so excited about the forthcoming season of Sex And The City that she has a little primer for the uninitiated at this link...
On second thought, I take back the word "little". Guess who got stuck putting all the pictures in Bianca's column and converting it to HTML the other night... you got it...
Who doesn't miss ECW? If you answered, "Not me", well, quite frankly, you're not much of a wrestling fan...
Is it me, or does Jerry and Stacy Lawler's story about their departure from the WWF keep changing every time they do an interview?
Bob Dylan turned 60 this week. Pick yourself up a copy of Highway 61 Revisited (for me, his finest early album) if you don't have one already, and relish the greatness of an American musical legend...
Owen Hart's accidental death occurred two years ago this week. The Word file with my column about that sad day is unfortunately on my old, "dead" computer, but thank god I still have the tape of the Raw from the day after...
I'm looking forward to the next installment in Perry Saturn's angle just to see what insane thing he's going to say next... you're welcome!
What does the general layout of Motley Crue's autobiography The Dirt remind you of more, Aerosmith's autobiography or Marilyn Manson's?
And aren't the Crue glad that Mick Foley's, The Rock's and Chyna's books did so well so that ReganBooks could risk putting out theirs?
Didn't you just know Steve Blackman's Singapore cane was going to come into play during his skit with Trish Stratus and Grandmaster Sexay?
And wasn't GMS's double-take at the end of the skit priceless?
Hmmm... did GMS think back to when his stepmother ripped her top off at Unforgiven '99 to get the right reaction for the skit?
I want to do this particular format on a regular basis strictly for Wrestling Bytes. If you want more of the same, please e-mail me at cj@cjmarsicano.com with your comments and suggestions! Have a nice Memorial Day weekend.
